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The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

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Link to 3 ways to start a conversation video: https://goo.gl/a58xcW The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter. That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like. And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship 0:51 Trying to contact them every single day 2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up 3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Connect With Us Further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1751)
Master Chief (2 days ago)
Value yourself then more you will value others. Love yourself so you can love others more!
Master Chief (2 days ago)
5:46 then they consummated before marriage
Keith Winestein (7 days ago)
I watched this a few years ago. But have forgotten all the wise words and tips. Glad I came back as I need some advice right now. Thanks for your wisdom buddy!
minhnhn (11 days ago)
why am I watching this even when Im single
Hugh Jos (12 days ago)
Watching this before I text a girl back
Red 6 (12 days ago)
This might seem a bit odd, but the reason why I have problems dating someone is because I have way too much free time. There is like a 1% chance that a girl would like to meet with me on a particular day and I wouldn't have time for her. Which is frustrating. Everyone around me seems so busy with their lives and I am like "hey, I've got my 8 hours after work everyday, who thinks I am cool?". I hate it. I hate myself for having so little interests. On top of that I like to spend a lot of time alone, but how do you explain that to someone? "Let's meet on Wednesday" "Sorry, I can't." "Why?" "Because I like to be alone and do nothing on Wednesdays." I don't want to make up things just to make the impression that I am also busy. Because I am really not. It all goes down to the fact that I am unable to find any hobbies I guess. Screw my boring life.
Golden Studios (13 days ago)
Thanks now I’m gonna fix things with my boyfriend
mia moore (13 days ago)
Wow! That's so helpful. Honestly thank you.
FSuixo (13 days ago)
Oh wow!!! Had I seen this video like 3 months ago. I just fucked up the relationship I had with this girl, the more wonderful, fun and sexiest girl ever because for once in my life, I fell in such a way that I was the one that was actuall needy one :( All that those mistakes you said... I've done'em. In the end she told me, I just don't like you there way you like me and thus I am not comfortable with keeping our relationship this way. Dude.. love is unfair. I'll stick with your advice for this new girl I am seeing now.
Patrick Guzman (13 days ago)
does "trying to contact them every single day" also count without actually seeing each other? like just texting or calling
TheB (14 days ago)
So what if the person just never calls you or reaches out to spend time with you? How do you get them to respect your time if they never interact
Kenneth Pocasangre (14 days ago)
I honestly wish I could have seen this two years ago -_- lol
Kenny Pineapple (15 days ago)
I’m sorry but you look high asf in the thumbnail
Am I the only one who thinks that he's really good looking?
lim hawk (15 days ago)
I am embarrassed to say that I am that needy guy. I just never thought I was that kind of person.
Nyota Grantt (16 days ago)
Yeah...i rather stay single 😂 less stress, issues, & more self care!💗
Janel Agasse (18 days ago)
dude... just stop playing games. be yourself. when you finally win the girl by faking it, trust me, it will be more messy. you'll be forced to fake it until you crumble and the whole relationship crumbles. so what if a person is needy? so what if a person is accommodating to someone's available time? come on. there's nothing wrong with those things. the right one will like those things about you. might be hard to meet them but trust me, it will be worth it.
Hud .Hud (19 days ago)
I just think much of the dating world is all due to a lack of clear cut communication! Since hitting my 30's, I'm done with all these games, I just tell them, I like you 1,2 and 3 do you feel the same? Yes/no, the right person will feel relieved. Clinginess is annoying, especially if I haven't decided if I like them.
BigCityPalooka (20 days ago)
Your first tip was proven very true for me. Except the relationship went on for two years. But when it ended — badly — I found that, because I had redefined many of my pleasures in life as being filtered through her  (I'm an artist; she is as well) , my connection to my work, through which I get a huge portion of my pleasure in life, had completely disappeared. Which left me in a very bad state. Many months later, I'm still slowly reconnecting the wires. Oy vey. Thus... your point is well taken. Great work. Best of luck to you!
chari Muvilla (21 days ago)
Even though these are true you aren't considering that you are needy when the other person isn't that interested in you. Putting me on the defense, for example, if a cute girl I really like was needy, that wouldn't ruin our relationship. I would tell her that I need some space etc but that's about it. I used to be very needy but this didn't ruin the real friendships I had. But still it was annoying so I eventually fixed it.
Spooky Spectre (21 days ago)
Aw I can tell you're a sweet guy. I'm sorry to hear you had to figure all these things the hard way (like I did). Its a shame we all cant just be honest about how we feel with people we like. So many games to navigate. Still appreciate your videos. Hopefully it will help honest sweet people like us avoid being taken advantage of by selfish jerks.
Klepnoth (23 days ago)
-Hey. Wanna get laid? -no. -wow, I didn't saw that coming...
bryce902 (24 days ago)
This channel is absolute gold
Charisma on Command (17 days ago)
~ Glad you're liking the channel. :-)
Jacob Davidson (28 days ago)
Great advice, can relate to it right away.
Stefanos Ziogas (29 days ago)
simple rule of thumb. If it feels like you have to work for it or even worse force it then it's not right. People in my country say "even priests get bored by too much praying"
scott Wallace (30 days ago)
Hehehe hey mama u wanna third wheel w me and my friend 😂
scott Wallace (30 days ago)
I just sit on my porch all night smoking and drinking coffee if my girl dose not wanna play that’s on her tbh
1GoldRunner (30 days ago)
I turned up my volume, heard a tiny voice, turned up the volume more and realized it was the presenter. O_O
Kristen Nerison (30 days ago)
I believe this message is universal and applies to all types of relationships. It's about having healthy boundaries and respecting yourself and your time, as you stated.
Guilherme Oliveira (1 month ago)
If i had seen this video a month ago, i think that i wouldn't be single now :')
McZidanne (1 month ago)
Aaah sorry, can't Friday. I gotta close my fridge door.
David Kelly (1 month ago)
how do you win their interest back?
Florence (1 month ago)
Thanks for the advice, your videos have helped me do a lot of thinking.
Sarah Beauvais (1 month ago)
From my perspective as a young woman saying "you know you want to" is an instant giant red flag. It makes it sounds like that person thinks they know what you want better than you do. It sounds very narsasistic even if it wasn't intended that way. A good response would to throw in a compliment depending on the girl you can tease her about being miss popular and say you'll catch her later.
Jagoda Tomczak (1 month ago)
Man I think I've already blown it with a guy I'm interested in then, and have been blowing it for years at a time. This really opened my eyes to my mistakes
Evil Smile (1 month ago)
The Biggest Mistakes In Dating. Being true to yourself.
Thiago Abdalla (1 month ago)
I will be listening to this everyday until I get it right :p
François Cardinaud (1 month ago)
Great advice!
lyman outloud (1 month ago)
I am 29 and have been dating for 15 years. I have had alot of success. but somehow I do something that messes it up or the other person is just so insecure. it happens every time. I have tried everything. its now at the point where I cant respect myself because I wanna give up on this idea of "love".
Allison Miller (1 month ago)
This dude is literally encouraging you to play games, rather than learning how to deal with rejection in a healthy way.
Kristóf Kovács (1 month ago)
I also experienced this... I tried to be "flexible", but this just ruined my mood and later the relationship too. I think these are really good advices.
Nicholas Jarrett (1 month ago)
His mouth is so big
Deshawn Lane (1 month ago)
Who eles is like 10 or 13
Moonlight Edits (1 month ago)
When a person mistreats service staff on a date, remember that they are on their best behavior. Once they are sure of you, they will treat you much worse.
milena jankovic (1 month ago)
One day u will maybe live with that person...
Dillon Lin (2 months ago)
How long should you be in a relationship when you should be slightly more flexible on availability?
General_Buttcrack _Naked (2 months ago)
Then you get married to that person who does not want to get bugged all the time then next thing you know the tables turned and she wont leave you alone
Amanda Jacobs (2 months ago)
Why aren't guys more... Charismatic o.o well.. if they were they'd probably use the power for evil so - eh
Crichjo32 (2 months ago)
Wish I watched this a couple of days ago.
Skerion (2 months ago)
Damn thats tough relatable
Kyler Quirk (2 months ago)
you're talking about neediness like it can happen to anyone. good to know. liked.
Justin Edwards (2 months ago)
Love all of this, but beware of girls that are flakey and are scared to commit to anything. Great video thank you
Mélora Colissan (2 months ago)
How can a girl throw a man with such a smile ?!? I break an ovary each time he opens his mouth. 😍
Mattias Nordblom (2 months ago)
how any couple ever has been established, i will never know.
orionsquare (2 months ago)
all these videos always teach you to play mind games. My personal advice is if you meet the right person, you absolutely don't need to play any games.
I'm needy, don't judge me
Lava Yuki (2 months ago)
I remember I was on the receiving end in uni. There was a guy who always messaged me and wanted to hang out, I was oblivious and went along with it for a while until the his neediness got annoying and I ended up running away. Clinginess is really annoying for anyone
Theo RixLux (3 months ago)
Me
David Smith (3 months ago)
I've made this mistake, but never learned from it 'til now (thanks to you).
ria ria (3 months ago)
Contacting daily may looks like being creepy..
Asha (3 months ago)
I've only ever ended up in a relationship with people Ive been exposed to over a long period of time. That means I've had 4 relationships and 3 were coworkers. Gotta stop with the coworkers but idk how to meet people any other way. Def not throwing myself to the wolves on a dating app.
Skerion (2 months ago)
Go to any public place really amusement parks,malls,bars,parties,clubs etc
fae ragan (3 months ago)
Not being attractive is the biggest mistake a guy can make when it comes to dating. For so long I was trying to get a girl to date me when I was unattractive. Thankfully one of my friends told me this was the wrong approach and so I tried being attractive the next time I asked a girl out and she said yes. Guys, just be attractive, it worked for me.
Amir J (3 months ago)
Man you've got some big hands bro
Jaz Lacoste (3 months ago)
I see now what I've been doing wrong, thank you
Renzokuken (3 months ago)
I actually did ALL of these mistake on an single person. No wonder it didn't work out lol
Sumun Golam (3 months ago)
omg the "checking the phone every minute" is the worst... i have so many things to do but i keep getting distracted...
Hulurium l (3 months ago)
Im to unneedy
Aaron Klapheck (3 months ago)
This is also where dating multiple people comes in handy. Don't be too dependent on any one person.
anthony ward (3 months ago)
i've already figured out a lot of these things from watching a tonne of other relationship advice videos and know that i did pretty much all of these and it really did kill our relationship. Discovered I have an anxious attachment style and that its something i can slowly work on. Its also something a lot of people learn naturally over the course of many failed/attempted relationships but I didn't really start dating until my mid to late 20's and only really had 2 "relationships" so whilst im at the age where i should "have figured all this stuff out by now" I'm really far behind the curve and have no idea what im supposed to do. hoping that the next time I get to try I've "fixed" a lot of these issues and can make things work a bit better.
Layladventures Here (3 months ago)
If you’re needy by nature the cure for you is dating multiple people at the same time, that s way you’ll spread the neediness and that way your neediness with never be on one person, it’ll be spread out lol trust me it works! Never focus on one person early on on one person!!!!!
ncs2000 (3 months ago)
how many girls rejected you?
Kimberlea McCall (4 months ago)
My word his mouth is big.
Daniel Andrei Rusu (4 months ago)
Is this story too perfect to be true?
Wind Maker (4 months ago)
This should be comment sense. Guys should never chase girls. Let them chase you.
JokerCrowe (4 months ago)
This is good advice for all kinds of relationships, I've never dated, but I've had friendships that have had the aspects of all three of these. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was the other person, but they don't just happen in dating.
June H (4 months ago)
Wait, she kept flaking out every day and SHE thought YOU screwed up?
Khen Gabay (4 months ago)
I did all of them. All the time! How greater can I be?
matxp4 (4 months ago)
Charlie, thank you very much. Litteraly this was just what I needed to hear. Love your videos, keep the great job.
Colin Montoya (4 months ago)
Aye bro thanks so much my friends threw me a lob with this girl that’s into me too and we’re all gonna go out monday I hope it goes well and now I’m prepared wish me luck 😭
AMANDAbolic (4 months ago)
Really enjoyed these tips! Thanks!
ArkonPT (4 months ago)
You're the man, really. Thanks!
J. Elington (4 months ago)
Yikes!!! Soooooooo meeeeeee!
Anonymous Lee (4 months ago)
Dating gets a lot harder when you work full-time, it's like just finding time to meet up is this grand production. Especially if you and your date have different work schedules. Kinda forces me not to be super needy.
Shafer Hart (4 months ago)
8:43 was that even necessary? Is the world a better place now because current discourse _forced_ you to include that addendum (as if it wasn't obvious)? Are you happy now, SJWs?
Kevin Garcia (2 months ago)
So is he supposed to just never mention the fact that some women and gays might watch his videos? You anti-SJW cultists are a bunch of sensitive little snowflakes, so much so that you make SJWs seem reasonable.
wirth6 (4 months ago)
To me the first story sounds like she was never really interested to begin with.
Paul (4 months ago)
How much soy do I need?
MrBeatboxmasta (4 months ago)
Flaking on friends to meet please your partner is my #1 pet peeve with friend who are in a relationship. I tell those people to just let me know when they want to do something and I stop being the one who invites them. When they feel left out, I tell them it's because they are not reliable.
Alexi Hamilton (4 months ago)
Okay. Here’s an old dating rule from my mom’s time that I think applies here. When someone asks you out on a date, it needs to be three days before the date happens. So if someone asks you out on Thursday to go out Friday, it’s no go because it was only one day before the day of the date in question and therefore less than three days. What you say is that you wish you could, but that you’re busy that day. The person asking you out then respects you and your time more and will most likely ask you out in advance next time. I don’t agree with all of the old dating rules, but this one has some merit to it.
Gerardo de Iriarte (4 months ago)
Excellent advice!
Karlan Meyers (4 months ago)
I’m in a relationship of a few months a we text every single day. I tell her I miss her all the time.
Big Ray (4 months ago)
Treat em mean. Keep em keen
Aichurok Turgunbaeva (4 months ago)
It’s true 🙁
Vaida Robert (5 months ago)
First one scared me too. Damn was I stupid:))
Layarion (5 months ago)
1:45 "you blew it" ...honestly, i don't know about that. she might have changed her mind about you, being nothing to do about you, and just canceled the dates because she didn't wan to take responsibility and say so.
Jake Grunwald (5 months ago)
Anyone else fuck things up?
Max Ljunggren (5 months ago)
thank you this probably saved my relationship with my best friend
Andy-Matter (5 months ago)
655,655th no joke
Atletico Wanka (5 months ago)
My only problem with dating is not getting a girlfriend, its keeping one
Klein Kanny (5 months ago)
Lmao this was me in my first relationship. Kinda ruined it, but it was complicated in general..so Im not too mad at myself. Im glad I saw this, for the future 💜
Pygmy Puff (5 months ago)
I had a friend in high school that was interested in me and I kept trying to give him cues that I wasn't interested in him by saying I was busy and I didn't have time until I just told him I wasn't interested. Lesson learned: Some guys don't take hints. Ooor maybe I wasn't being clear enough?
Honeybunni99 (5 months ago)
dang, I'm glad I saw this!

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